put your hands on your handsome face.

while waiting for my brother to pick andy and i up from the spectrum last night, we talked about being mean. he said something along the lines of, "to be mean is like having a gun, you just have to pick and choose when you use it." i know, i know. no, i don't have a gun. but you know what he means. it does seem a bit morbid, the way he put that. last night after i got out of my geology class, i went off on the kid who sits next to me for giving my outlet away to the guy who sits next to him. why? because we agreed that we would share it since we sat there first and i guess, "claimed" them. but when the other guy pulled out his computer and gave the guy who sat next to me his plug, he plugged it in for him. was i pissed? of course. albeit something so little, it was the principle of the matter. ever called shotgun but then someone ran up to the passenger seat and stole it, even when you called it first? that is exactly what happened. then, other guy says to me, "i'm sure your battery will last." as if that was supposed to make me feel better about him taking that outlet from me. i kept my cool and didn't call him a fucking retard out loud, even though i really wanted to. i would liked to have said it to the kid who sat next to me who did that, but i just decided to give him the cold shoulder for most of the class. this kid is the kind of person who speaks at unnecessary times in class, and most of the things he says aren't really relevant to whatever it is we are learning about. yes, that guy. i wonder sometimes if he is mildly retarded. anyway, after class he's blabbering on about how far away his car is parked (and he's a much heavier guy) and i almost want to tell him that he may need the walk. anyway, i just kind of snapped at him and said, "next time i call an outlet, and you hear me, YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING GIVE IT TO THE KID NEXT TO YOU, OK?" i feel better at this point. he says, "ok, i will try harder next time." looking back on it, do i feel bad for snapping? not particularly.

everyone's got good and bad parts to them. that's just how we are built. i feel as if i've been playing nice for too long, and i am okay with being a jerk every once in awhile (if it's deserved). it's healthy.