really dropping the ball. i mean really. extremely scatterbrained. prioritizing my time all wrong. money managing is almost nonexistent. uncertainty at its worst.

i haven't written in here in a little bit. i don't even know if i'm going to right now. i am quite content at the moment. but that's not to say that my hunger has been satiated just yet.

au lac needs real noodle bowls.

simple snacks at christina's last night

SF IV Tier List

God Tier
Sagat

Top Tier
Ryu
Zangief

High Tier
Balrog (Boxer)
M. Bison (Dictator)
Akuma
Chun Li
Blanka
Rufus

Med. Tier
Viper
Ken
Dhalsim
Abel

Low Tier
Guile
E. Honda

Bottom Tier
El Fuerte
Vega (Claw)

can you smell what the rock is cooking?

hang out day with dan lee today. we went to the kings game at the staples center today and went to real food daily after that. pretty fun stuff. NOT FUN sitting in traffic.

to be honest though, i'm feeling a little bit helpless. close friends around me are dealing with huge events in their lives, and i feel terrible for not being able to ease the pain for anyone. not being able to help makes me feel awful.

i guess i should head over to jamie's now.

.

how am i still awake? i only just got two hours of sleep this morning, from 645am-9am. and i'm still awake now. i thought i was in zombie mode today, i will be a mega zombie tomorrow. did i mention i thought princess mononoke was really good?

spring cleaning has begun. i nearly had a heart attack today, no joke.

baby girl, you and me can kick it like a field goal.

tired. happy. going to try and petition that history of international cinema class tomorrow. i might stuff envelopes for steph's dad for some extra $$$. i like hanging out with her family too. what else is there to do tomorrow? may try and watch princess mononoke tonight, so i can send that back tomorrow. that's if i don't fall asleep first.

caroline always seems to cry.

i want to say that it was recently that i've figured out what i want when it comes to dating. i hate talking about dating. but here is the one time i will talk about it. i used to be attracted to dead-end guys. guys with little to no ambition, guys who drank too often for my liking, guys who didn't have their shit together. i used to be attracted to guys based off of my first impression, looks especially. i will openly admit it, and i'm sure many people feel the same way. but it doesn't work like that for me anymore. it's hard for me to be attracted to someone now who i feel may be going nowhere - fast. i want the person i'm with to want more out of life. life is never very long. but if you want to make the most of it, then great. i'm not looking to be in a relationship anytime soon, but when i do find someone, i'd like for it to be a real, lasting relationship.

machine-made lace.

i just put gosford park on. i am excited to see this. school tomorrow at 2pm. that'll give me time to possibly set up a counseling appointment, maybe speak with the vice president of student services, and check out therapy the school offers.

things to do this week:
-get those forms back from jamie
-apply at uo at fashion island
-order textbooks via amazon
-see if i can add either intro to film genres or intro to marine science
-get my car washed (finally)

movies to see this week:
-leap year
-the young victoria
-an education (again)
-youth in revolt (maybe)
-the room (on saturday)

thom's having a thing at his house in la on friday. saturday is the room. i'm trying to get a group together to go to the star party at the griffith observatory for next saturday, that should be neat. there are a ton of familiar faces in this movie, so far. goodnight.

braaaaaaaap.

the sound of all this was so appealing..

i think i'm a narcoleptic. it's not something i've ever been diagnosed for. but that could explain why i fall into REM sleep so quickly and dream, even if i'm only asleep for 10 minutes. and it could explain why i am always so tired during the day. who knows. i don't know why i've put off calling my uncle for so long. GUH. great night last night, it was benny's last night in town so some people were over at chanel's making cinnamon rolls. i had to leave early to meet z back at my house. we ended up watching katt williams' the pimp chronicles, and played a round of marvel vs. capcom 2 (which i totally beat him in). felt bad that i couldn't drop by dan lee's birthday party at southall's house, but i was pretty tired anyway. excited for school tomorrow.

I SAID NO CHEESE, OK?!

i just got home from spending the past two days in anaheim. the company renato works for came down for an annual conference/event called "all hands". on the first day they took us all to california adventure, and then a cocktail hour and dinner at stage 17 (which is in ca adventure). it was pretty nice. he got an award for best new developer of the year. all of his friends/coworkers seemed really nice. a little on the dorky side, but i can hang. there was endless wine, so i had a pretty good buzz going. after ca adventure, we went back to my house to grab some stuff (and get my car). i had to be up early the next day to go to the aquarium of the pacific with all the other guests of the novacoasters. i felt like i was on a field trip again. it was pretty awesome. we rode in a separate car from the 15 seater van, since there was a couple more of us. after the aquarium, we went down the way to belmont shore to 2nd street and walked around for an hour or so. there was a really neat candy store on that street, and i checked out fingerprints as well. fingerprints was kind of meh. i don't know what i was expecting but it was just ok. i didn't leave super impressed. after we got back to the hotel, i got ready for dinner and took a nap just before. there was another cocktail hour (endless wine, again) so i went into the ballroom with a pretty good buzz already. after everyone spoke who was gonna speak, they started up casino night. they gave you fake money before you went in (1000) and you could trade them out at tables for chips to play. i played poker, roulette, and blackjack. i must have done something right because i came up with about twice as much as what i started with. occasionally, the dj would do trivia, and a bunch of us hustled over when he said we were going to do star wars trivia. i only got to answer two questions right but they were pretty tough. questions like what toy company was the first to manufacture star wars action figures? and who were the first four characters that were produced? things i didn't know. the only questions i got were "carrie fisher - dead or alive?" and "who was obi-wan's master?" also, i think i was a permanent fixture at the karaoke machine all night. basically, i had a really fun night. these were good nights to close up my winter break with. i felt a little bit like natalie keener from up in the air last night, except without the heartbreak.

i sang the chiffons' one fine day on my own. i love that song. now i gotta hurry up and get my day started. clean my car, my room, do some laundry, go to the bank, and call my uncle.

almost doesn't count.

just watched when did you last see your father and sunshine cleaning. both movies were MEH. i'd already read and heard that sunshine cleaning wasn't very good, but i love emily blunt so i watched it anyway. i hadn't heard too much about when did you last see your father, and from what i gathered, that movie was just alright. a little bit depressing, cinematography didn't amaze me, the story didn't really either. i do like colin firth though. i have my brother's ps3 in my room right now so i have the luxury of netflix instant watch for the night. it's too bad i won't be home tomorrow or friday, i won't get a chance to use it until saturday/sunday.

i have to be awake in about 5 hours, so i can get ready and do my hair and stuff. jr said he would be picking me up around 11-12 tomorrow. he asked me awhile back to be his guest for some conference thing the company he worked for was having down here in anaheim. he lives in santa barbara, but his parents live in rancho cucamonga, and i think that is where he will be driving out from tomorrow. i'm not quite sure what the plan is but i do know that tomorrow we are all going to california adventure, and then some big dinner afterwards. i believe he is going to be in meetings on friday, so all the novacoast guests are going to the long beach aquarium. i will admit that i am pretty excited about that. after that, i think it's casino night (somewhere) and then we all get smashed and go home the next day. sounds like a good way to end my winter break. well, saturday night is really the end of my winter break. but we'll see if plans follow through.

feelin' downtrodden, fresh kid turned rotten.

can i fit all this into one week? we may have to make it a week and a couple days. saturday, may 22 - wednesday, june 2. i think this may be manageable. i won't feel like i have to rush, and i'll have enough time to fit all this in there. i imagine i'll need a large suitcase.

Cafe Blossom
Neighborhood: Upper West Side
466 Columbus Ave
(between 82nd St & 83rd St)
New York, NY 10024
(212) 875-2600

Curly's Vegetarian Lunch
Neighborhoods: Gramercy, East Village
328 E 14th St
(between 1st Ave & 2nd Ave)
New York, NY 10003

Red Bamboo
Neighborhood: Greenwich Village
140 W 4th St
(between Avenue Of The Americas & Mac Dougal St)
New York, NY 10012

Lula's Sweet Apothecary
Neighborhood: East Village
516 E 6th St
(between Avenue A & Avenue B)
New York, NY 10009

Vinnie's Pizzeria
Neighborhood: Williamsburg - North Side
148 Bedford Ave
(between 8th St & 9th St)
Brooklyn, NY 11211

Boneshakers
Neighborhood: East Williamsburg
134 Kingsland Ave
(between Beadel St & Lombardy St)
Brooklyn, NY 11222

Atlas Cafe
Neighborhood: East Village
73 2nd Avenue
(between 1st Ave & 4th St)
New York, NY 10003

BabyCakes NYC
Neighborhood: Lower East Side
248 Broome St
(between Ludlow St & Orchard St)
New York, NY 10002

Wild Ginger
Neighborhoods: Little Italy, Nolita
380 Broome St
(between Mott St & Mulberry St)
New York, NY 10013

Lan Cafe
Neighborhood: East Village
342 E 6th Street
(between 1st Ave & 2nd Ave)
New York, NY 10003

Vietnam Banh Mi So 1
Neighborhoods: Little Italy, Nolita
369 Broome Street
(between Elizabeth St & Mott St)
New York, NY 10013

'Snice
Neighborhood: West Village
45 8th Ave
(between Jane St & West 4th St)
New York, NY 10014

Foodswings
Neighborhood: Williamsburg - South Side
295 Grand St
(between Roebling St & Havemeyer St)
Brooklyn, NY 11211

Theaters:

The IFC Theater - Waverly Cinema
323 6th Avenue
New York, NY 10014

Sunshine Cinema
Neighborhood: Lower East Side
143 E Houston St
(between 2nd Ave & Chrystie St)
New York, NY 10002

Museums:

The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Neighborhood: Upper East Side
1000 5th Ave
New York, NY 10028

Lower East Side Tenement Museum
Neighborhood: Lower East Side
108 Orchard Street
(between Broome St & Delancey St)
New York, NY 10002

Museum of The Moving Image
Neighborhood: Long Island City
3601 35th Ave
Astoria, NY 11106

New York Transit Museum
Boerum Place and Schermerhorn Street
Brooklyn, NY 11201

il y a.

i'm feeling really anxious to go somewhere. i'm looking at plane tickets for new york right after spring finals get out. 300 for a roundtrip flight, from may 21-28. that doesn't sound too bad, right? if i wanted to go to canada for spring break, it'd be around 500. what else can i do? i've been talking about a california road trip for awhile now, but it has yet to come to fruition. i have certain destinations picked out, but getting friends along for it and the money as well has yet to happen. another big downside is that my car is not gas efficient. if i want to go somewhere far, i need a car that's gas efficient. can you rent hybrids? sigh. if i had a hybrid, i'd probably be tempted to drive all over. anyway, here's a short list of ca destinations i have been longing to visit:

1. hearst castle
2. national john steinbeck center
3. monterey bay aquarium
4. old fisherman's wharf
5. winchester mystery house

not that long of a list.. yet. i want to throw in some camping in there as well. we'll see. it's a work in progress.

by the way, i am molting like no other. my hair seems like it's falling out kind of. or maybe i'm just noticing because i've been running my hands through my hair quite a bit lately. MUR.

you like me when i'm not waiting for you, but i like you most all the time.

brunch yesterday morning went pretty well, i got french toast at avanti with some of the boys yesterday. i liked it, but i think i prefer m cafe's. after leaving costa mesa, i went to megan's house and hung out with her for all of the middle day. she made really amazing pasta salad (really simple, but so good) and a lentil wrap for me. we went to starbucks for coffee earlier and we ran into aria there. now, keep in mind, i don't think i've ever met him in person but i see his updates on myspace all the time (railcars), and that was really strange. he was very good looking in person. after megan and i ate, we watched chasing amy. i feel like i've heard so much hype about this movie, i even wiki'd it long before yesterday. it was alright. i'm not a huge kevin smith fan, but this movie was just ok. afterwards, bethany and chanel picked me up and we went to meet up with the boys at the uci theater to see a single man, that tom ford movie. i thought it was alright. us girls went to loco after, that was pretty neat. i love the pasta nights there.

megan is making me dinner (like old times)

your eyelashes tickled my neck, with every nervous blink.

let's sum up new year's eve in a nutshell: so great. i was initially stressed at first a teeny bit, but everything ended up working out. met up at z's place in long beach, and we hit huntington first for the ramp party. i got kind of drunk here. seeing z eat shit was so awesome. i mean that in a good way, of course. everyone who lived in that house was super cool, and the girlfriends were all too nice too. i also ran into a kid that i met while i was working at american apparel too! he works at the art center up the street from there AND goes to school at ivc (where i've bumped into him before too). so awesome. good hangs. we went to his friend molly's party in hb as well after that, and i ran into haley (who used to work at santa ana AA) and z bumped into someone who went to elementary school with him in burbank. random! first party was better, though. after we left there, we sped on over to MV where andy and co. were at. it was a huge ass party with strobe lights and stuff, and all the employees of urban/the union line/hardcore kids/people who shop at urban were here. ran into a good number of classmates, and also another guy who i met while i worked at AA. so strange! we didn't make it inside the house by the time the countdown ended, so we kissed right outside the house. too sweet. there was a blue moon tonight too! shit, this night was all sorts of good. went back to z's and hung out and napped for an hour or so and i just picked up some del and came home. good recap, huh? good riddance, 2009. you brought me one good thing, and i'm taking it with me to 2010.

i forgot to mention that at the ramp party, one guy messed up some trick he was doing and his skateboard came shooting in my direction and hit my on top of my foot. i pretended like it didn't hurt while it happened (can't show weakness, of course), but now that i am in the comfort of my own home i'm going to be a baby about it now. it hurts! it is swelled up right now.

THIS is a new year's party.