i forgot my nautical themed pashmina afghan for the boat party.

but that was okay, because it was totally fun! i was kinda sketchy about it at first, but it turned out to be really cool. there was about 10 people there, andy made ice cream and we all played games aboard a boat docked in newport harbor. we met up with everyone around 9, and then carpooled over to the dock. the first game we played was charades, and we split the team up with 3 boys and 2 girls on each team. in the end, my team (me, aj, ryan, jon, and madison) won. i haven't played that game in a really long time, and i forgot that it can be fun. second game was never have i ever, and peter and bethany were the last ones standing, but bethany got beat out by "never have i ever had a vagina". such a cheat, but funny all the same. last game we played was truth or dare, via my iphone. this one was hilarious. this game lasted until around 3AMish. my voice is really hoarse from all the yelling that went on during this game. overall, really fun night. i feel really satisfied with all the hanging out that is happening over winter break. it's probably because i usually work during winter break. first winter break i haven't worked since sophomore year. that's ridiculous.

tomorrow.. so i guess burbank fell through since collin (whose house it was gonna be at) has to film travis pastrana jumping some ridiculous jump in the long beach harbor on his subaru. i guess he wasn't gonna get home in time to have a party. z said he had agreed to go to a ramp party beforehand that he had forgotten about and that i could join him and we could see where to go from there. options: someone from the union line is having a party in MV (bethany says), adam's girlfriend is having a party in HB, josh southall and his roommates are having one in rsm at their apartment, and pita is going somewhere on a party bus (that christina was going to inquire about). who knows. all i know is, six flags on friday, brunch saturday and hopefully stuff i eat on that day.. and then the hollywood farmers market on sunday. let's see how the rest of the week rolls.

a taste of life

i think i am coming down with something. half of me believes it is that room heater being left on all night that is making my throat hurt to begin with. i feel like this happens often when i leave it on overnight. another is that my mom was sick for a long time, then my brother got sick right after, and then my sister had swine.. i don't know. i have a pretty good immune system though. i drank some tea earlier (this could be the reason i'm still up right now at 5:11AM). i really want to see sherlock holmes, the young victoria, and a single man.

boat party later today at ryan's.. i still have to go new year's dress searching. i have a feeling this search might end at h&m.
side note: infomercials at this time of night are so ridiculous and entertaining.

what else is on the agenda for this week? six flags on friday for ryan's birthday, then brunch the next morning at avanti cafe. i really want to go to the hollywood farmer's market for some vegan 'mcmuffins' before he leaves for portland though. AND, i'd like for us all to go to stuff i eat. since i feel like they would be down to go since they are both away for school for most of the year. him, benny and i went to posers on melrose where he got some new clothes, and then we all went to cruzer's to get some calzones before going back home to watch broken embraces at the university 6. dean was actually working for once, and he gave me a carrot cake and two cookies and a drink (all of which i distributed pretty evenly). the movie itself was like a C+ status.. it was very long, but it didn't seem like it needed to be. the main actor in the movie looks like a spanish patrick swayze (i said), kelsey grammar (andy said) and robin williams (benny said). haha. i want to see the young victoria really bad.

i need to get some different tea tomorrow from the store and maybe throat drops. i need to be better soon.

tom dale at j.c's bean in dana point.

tauntaun...

no, i never got my tauntaun sleeping bag for christmas. good hangs all day with tom dale. started at jc's bean in dana point. it was the cutest coffee shop i've been in lately, and i mean the actual place itself - unlike alta. that's just a coffee shop filled with beautiful people. then we went to loco because i was super hungry. then! a trip to mission mall. we stopped in the apple store to say hi to a bunch of people, then went into the microsoft store because tom had yet to see it. spent a couple hours talking to his mom and dad after i took him home. they are such nice people. AND THEN, i got my alejandro's fix (finally) and went to see emmie in yorba linda (since she's going on vacation to washington until school starts).

whittling down the amount of info about me that's on my fb. it may be dumb, but i think i want less of me out there. if you want to know me, knock. come in.

girl you know i-i-i

christmas was bland as expected. i don't want to talk about the bad stuff right now. let me recount some good.

went with cody and brian to santa barbara today. it was actually a really good drive. we stopped at vegan express on the way, NOT GOOD. that was only because:

1. cruzer's wasn't open until 4. what kind of hours are those?
2. pure luck was closed. MEH.
3. vinh loi is closed until new year's. REALLY?! i really really wanted to go here. bumout.

at least i know never to go that route again. the drive itself was pretty good, no traffic at all. we went to cody's house he shares with like 5 other people (very similar to the house in suburbia) to get his work clothes and dropped his stuff off, then went to the starbucks he works at with brian. brian and i killed some time there, and then i drove home to meet up with nakita and dan lee to see the frog and the princess. but on the way home, i made a pit stop at cruzer's to pick up a calzone and use their bathroom (cody made me a coffee drink and it traveled fast). the princess and the frog was interesting, to say the least.

i have a bad habit of making too many plans and not being able to follow through with all of them.

1. i never made it to tara's.
2. didn't get to hang out with emmie (she was supposed to sleep over).
3. didn't get to hang out with andy (he got super bummed, i feel really awful about this).

ultimately, i feel really relieved to be home. i'm not stoked about the verbal beating i am going to receive from my mom about not being home, but i honestly would have to be a masochist to willingly want to hang out with her. i've decided not to talk to her for awhile.

christmas 2008/2009

giovanni ribisi and chan marshall. WHY is she wearing uggs?

i hope santa brought you loads of goodies from his giant sack last night.

merry christmas everyone! we haven't really celebrated christmas since we were a little bit younger. holly moved out, we didn't like putting lights up anymore (because they'd be up til january or longer), and we didn't really long for a christmas tree or anything. basically, on christmas morning we sometimes exchange gifts.. sometimes. christmas isn't that big of a deal to us because we aren't religious either. it's just like any other day, except everywhere is closed except the movie theater and disneyland. on the bright side, let's recap christmas eve (which was probably far superior than today has the potential to be):

went to christina's house for a bit.
coffee with priyesh at corner bakery before he went to his parents'.
had loving hut with ryan ponce and allie.
hung out with allie and john at john's beforehand.
christmas eve dinner at andy's. his mom made indian food. i met some of his family. we did icebreakers to "introduce yourself and add a fun fact", and when it came to me, i got nervous so i was talking kind of fast, and the word really slipped out as 'rearry'. hilarity ensues.
i saw up in the air with dan lee, and it was pretty good. i recommend it.
hung out with allie and john some more. and now today is christmas!

i feel like i left some things out from yesterday. but when i remember, i'll let you know. i am mega sleepy and don't know how much i want to go to lake elsinore (but i will probably end up going anyway).

aaron. this followed him showing me mr. chi-city's dollar menu millionaire video.

bonfires on the heath.

big headache. i feel like i've been away from the blog for a bit. i need estrogen. or to be around more females. i know this sounds impossible, but i think i've heard enough dick jokes this week to last me for awhile. i always forget how different it is when you're hanging out with a group of males being the only female. it makes me wonder how it feels for a male when he's the only male in a group of females. cody refers to it as "bro-ing down", which is a funny term in and of itself. guys just have to be guys when they're around their friends, i think. when i asked him if all guys talk about was their junk, he asked me how often girls talk about their boobs. then i think, "ah, ok. i get it now."

i have a massive headache right now. if i caught my brother's sickness, i'm going to be so bummed. it doesn't really feel like christmas to me. that's ok, maybe tomorrow at sleepyhead's house it will. or andy's if i go over there for dinner. his mom made a peanut butter chocolate pie. i am not a fan of sweets by any means, but the pie did look really pretty.

destined to be a zombie later today.

spreading holiday cheer, duh.

you wanna marry me, you say that i'm the real deal.

exercised my benefits of being andy's "spouse" today at the urban at fashion island. christina's mom got me a skirt for christmas. so awesome. we went into anthropologie first, and i tried on those j brand denim leggings that i've been wanting to for awhile. so lately, my black j brands haven't been fitting like usual. was it that i've just had those pants for a long time and they just stretched out? do they stretch out? BUT. i tried on size 27s in the store, and they were too big. is this some sort of miracle? i even tried on the 25s and they fit. now that was weird. there wasn't a 26 in the store for me to try on to see if it fit best. but we know now it's either size 25 or 26. WOW. i don't feel any different. spent most of today with magda, and then i went to ponce's for a bit since i hadn't seen him in awhile. met his girlfriend from north carolina via skype/videochatting. she seems nice. and then i got hungry.

so, undecided between loving hut and dean's.. i went to dean's. arthur and i were just talking about this the other day, how we both hadn't been there in awhile. so i went. i got pizza, and figured i'd go back to andy's to wait up until he got home from work at 11. hung out with him and rachel for a little bit after that. i think she is heading back to running springs tomorrow, and i think she's going back to portland the day before new year's. andy and i made semi plans to go to his friend collin's new year's party. that will only happen if:

1. christina doesn't have a party
2. i don't get to spend it with whom i want to

why is this the criteria? because i'd like to either be drunk, or kissing someone i want to at midnight. why is this important? because new year's eve is my favorite fucking holiday. i can't really explain why it stands so high on my list. it just feels like the end/beginning of something, and i think i really like that.. even though the only thing that really changes is the last two numbers in mm/dd/yy. anyway, i feel like i may need to get a new dress for this occasion. we'll see how this turns out.

i should be heading off to bed soon. i still have that screening at 930am tomorrow. then going with magda to get an iphone. listening to the follow the lights ep. i think i will wear that skirt tomorrow.

DDD

i am emotionally and physically drained as fuck. i'm convinced she's trying to kill me.

calzone from cruzer's last night

thanks, alex.

first day of winter break - complete success.

you were there with me, and we were free.

today was a good day. first day off after finals. amber and i went to the la natural history museum (which i have not set foot in since elementary school) and we saw a lot of cool displays and stuff. granted, we got there like 2 hours before they closed so we weren't able to take our time. apparently samuel oschin and his wife donated money to this place too, the african mammal wing is named after them. samuel oschin and his wife donated money for the planetarium at the griffith observatory. super cool. they have an actual megamouth shark and an oarfish preserved in what i'm assuming is formaldehyde or something. so crazy! i wonder what a giant squid looks like in person. even better, a colossal squid! not that many of those wash up or anything, they are super deep water dwelling creatures. i really liked the museum. it reminded me a bit of the santa barbara natural history museum, but on a grander scale. a huge portion of it was under renovations, so a good portion was cut off. the usc stadium was right across the way from the museum, that was kind of neat. it was super huge. after we left the museum, we were headed to wacko to see if we could find any cool gifts for christmas presents (and for my sister's birthday). there was a record shop on that street called vacation, i definitely want to go back there soon and check it out a little bit more thoroughly. they had a bigger selection of heavier stuff there. i liked the way that everything was organized there.

after we left wacko, we walked up the street to cruzer's. i haven't been back here since allie and i came before we went to the griffith observatory, and that was in august. but since then, they've become the first all vegan pizzeria in california. i wasn't too hungry, but i wanted to show my support so i got a calzone with daiya cheese, green peppers, mushrooms and pepperoni in it. delicious! amber and i split one and we killed it in probably less than 5 minutes. we left cruzer's and went to scoops for ice cream afterwards. i haven't been to scoops since dan lee and i went that one day, and that was also awhile ago. actually, i think it was recently after my birthday because i remember him buying my ice cream and pure luck on that day. so july-ish. i had a scoop of vanilla oreo and chocolate hazelnut. super good. i had a really good time hanging out with amber. i think we are both super relieved to be on winter break right now. we are gonna go see the room on saturday at midnight. excited.

i may have to go to target and buy some wrapping paper and a tall box now. get my shit wrapped together before i gift them and stuff, you know.

WTF IDT

simply put, the normies don't get it.

i am so late on this but.. i love the uptempo version of birthday sex by jeremih. i really just heard it when i went to nakita's birthday, and aaron was playing his company of men mixtape and that song was on it. but wow, i really like it. don't hate.

finals are over. i could jump for joy, i'm so excited. i think my very minimal christmas shopping is done. i don't have too much money left over, better use that to pay off some of my parking tickets. now i need to find a tall box.. maybe i'll just do that after i actually have a full night's rest.

2nd Christmas gift this year

And it's from my favorite future in-laws, the wirths! (kidding) I have yet to
open it, but I'm curious as to what it is.

fucking shit!

i'm gonna rant about something now. i just saw the damned united (michael sheen, jim broadbent, timothy spall) and it was really fucking good. like, REALLY GOOD. and i was thinking about how funny it was that michael sheen was in the twilight movie that came out earlier this year (new moon) and jim broadbent and timothy spall had both been in harry potter movies (as professor slughorn and peter pettigrew, respectively). here is what i'm wondering: why are the harry potter movies so fucking bad?

i mean, i go to the theaters to watch them and all. i have seen each one. but it's because i love the books. but i'm being truthful here, not one harry potter movie has stood out to me. of the six that have been released. there is not one harry potter movie i long to watch over and over. the last one i saw was the sixth one, and that was in theaters. i think i tried to watch it a second time and left because i couldn't sit there any longer. honest. and it's really funny when i think about the lord of the rings, because they banded together a bunch of not so well known actors, i would go so far as to say that put together, they were a probably just above mediocre (at the time). and that's not talking about them individually (we all know viggo mortensen and cate blanchett are amazing). the movies are classic. i honestly think i could watch the extended dvds OVER and OVER. yes, those dvds that are 3+ hours long each. i have each one's extended edition.

in harry potter, there are a slew of well known stars. richard griffiths, dame maggie smith, gary oldman, timothy spall, jim broadbent, ralph fiennes, helena bonham carter, helen mcrory, and so on. but why are the movies so bad? i mean, don't get me wrong, they are entertaining. but i don't really ever have a longing to watch my harry potter dvds. maybe once a blue moon i'll pop it in. but in the last year alone, i have not watched any of them. and different directors have directed different books. chris columbus had the first two, alfonso cuaron had the third one, mike newell had the fourth, and david yates has the fifth, sixth and seventh. but i don't particularly love any of them.

basically, i was just ranting because i can't see how the harry potter films don't feel like classics to me. but they're loaded with renowned actors/actresses. maybe i just really loved lord of the rings.

and don't even get me started about twilight. bad cast as a whole, bad movies as well. there are no win win situations there. i say peter jackson should have directed the last harry potter movie, and ian mckellen should've been dumbledore after the first one kicked the bucket.

sorry for getting off topic.. all in all, michael sheen was damn good in this movie. i think i may go watch it again. he is excused for being in new moon because he was so great in this movie. i must see frost/nixon now.

going to bed now, i spent all day inside peet's studying. and my notes aren't even halfway done. i really need to be on my game tomorrow. ichat and facebook cannot be open until after my geology final. i have to be done with my notes by 3-4 and then study for my astronomy final.. which is 1230pm the day after. GUH. must wake up by 10 tomorrow. i must i must.

by the way, before i forget.. queen amidala was in my dream last night.. i was going to some showing of twilight and i was beating on some noisy kids there.. i was driving on the way to a taping of conan o'brien and we drove past a house with a bunch of petrified trees on the front lawn.. and my driver's license didn't display my name or address.. that really threw me off.

favorite couple.

it's been raining for the past couple of days. i have been really enjoying it. i also need to not be sleeping late. this has been consistent for the past week or so. i'm talking to thom a bit about girl/boy stuff. he's really into some girl that he has been for the past three years but he's also had a jumping from girl to girl streak - not unlike my stint with the boys awhile back. but he's going to hang out with her this week or something, and from what he tells me he may try to put the moves on her. thom and i can be very frank and open with each other, i think that's great. i mean, how many guys do i know are comfortable telling me that some girls need a good dicking sometimes? of course it would be thom.

i should sleep soon. lots of studying to do tomorrow, since it's my last day and all before finals. huzzah!

Peet's with Christina

add another line to my wish list.

he asked me what i wanted for christmas. i think i was taken back because i may have been surprised that he thought about getting me something. and then i thought of what i'd been telling christina before about the only thing i really wanted from him. i told him that i didn't want anything for christmas. of course, this was a lie. and no, it's not what you're thinking. it's actually very simple, and just takes a bit of thought is all. i think he will be able to figure this one out.

also, completely unrelated to this post, but i can't decide if i want to be alone on new year's or not. it's my favorite holiday of the year, but i currently can't seem to talk myself into doing anything. i don't think i would want to be alone on new year's. but i feel like i have to be this year. it would definitely be a firm start to the beginning of the new year.

you've seen me at my worst. i don't think it's something you'll ever forgive me for, but you are still here. and i am so grateful for that. i think we both know that i've made enough mistakes to last me for years. i don't feel like you believe my heart or body to be much worth, because of how 'generous' i've been. that's okay. only time can really do anything for either of us now. maybe this time next year, you will have lost your innocence, possibly be dating someone (and not that pseudo-dating stuff) and maybe be in a serious relationship. do i know that? no. but you don't know either, it's the future. hopefully, this same time next year, i'll be semesters away from transferring to a 4 year myself and continue what i'm doing now. hopefully, i'll have a stable enough school schedule to handle having a part time job. and if my predicted future for you does come true, i may or may not be heartbroken because it wasn't me. but i'd be happy for you because at least i'd know that you finally found someone that you wanted. i don't want to tell you i'm sorry for who i was before i met you, because i'm not. things happened to me, and they made me the same girl you know now. i guess i always hoped our story would play out similar to 'lucky charm'. but somehow i don't think you'll ever change your mind. i don't think i will either.

until next year,
me

my feet are freezing. i hate being right sometimes.

But I'm getting tired all over again so hurry up
and get here because I'm still waiting...
just like I've always been.
I'm getting tired of standing around,
just sitting here and waiting to be found.
Same old shit just a different day.
I'll wait around for one more day
but I know that's what I will always say.
Will this ever be O.K.?
I will always worry about you.
I will always stick up for you.

do you ever associate songs with people? we all do it, or at least with certain periods of our lives.

dragonette's i get around (midnight juggernauts remix) - i think of carl showing me that work for the first time, and of linda and my little clubbing stint.
rilo kiley's initial friend ep - definitely reminds me of fall 2007, and my first visit to santa barbara.
minus the bear's "knights" - reminds me of going to veggie grill with aj from over two years ago.
my morning jacket's z -kalani and i cd shopping together at tower records when we used to be friends.
oasis' "don't go away" and rjd2's "making days longer" - reminds me of josh.
the get up kids' something to write home about - ryan a and the time following when we dated.
the ronettes' "be my baby" and she&him's "sweet darlin" - the first time z and i really hung out, before i went to see the shins.
weezer's pinkerton - arthur. i will be honest, arthur was the one that really got me into weezer.
longwave - in general, they remind me of winter time. probably because i saw them last december on the 12, and i was listening to them a lot around that time. so they remind me of cold weather. and it's pretty cold right now.
the verve's "bittersweet symphony" - christina and i were listening to this on our way to the beach in the summer of '07, where she tried to teach me how to swim for the first time.
the juliana theory's "the closest thing" - even though i heard this song for the first time in the 8th grade, ryan played it for me on guitar after we got home from our trip to sb together.
damien rice's "the blower's daughter" - reminds me of my sophomore year, right about the time i was getting my permit. i went to go see a movie with sean on a really cloudy day at the mann 8, and it was.. sideways. we walked on capo beach after and i remember thinking of the music video. haha.
death cab for cutie's plans - working at ben and jerry's. marco played this all the time.


and you know, i completely love when certain songs come on in the right moments in certain movies. it makes it significant when i put it on a mix. say i put remy zero's "fair" on a mix cd. it'll probably be because i'm thinking of that really sentimental moment between sam and andrew in front of the fireplace in garden state. or more recently, if i put the pixies' "here comes your man", because i'd probably been thinking about when tom from 500 days of summer was drunk karaoke-ing to summer and the rest of their coworkers. i love when movies find good placement for songs. especially if they are songs that aren't used frequently.

(this is a work in progress)

and she's my friend of all friends, she's still here when everyone's gone.

a quick explanation before i continue doing my homework at a snail's pace. my friends, are you currently suffering the opposite gender? here's something i've figured out between mid-october until now. the best way to protect yourself from getting hurt is just not to get involved. it sounds cowardly, but it's fool proof. if you don't invest energy into anyone, you can't be hurt. but on the off chance that you do meet someone, and it doesn't work out the way you want it to, go see your friends. i read somewhere that friends are the cure for heartbreak. i couldn't tell you the last time i was waiting on a guy to text me back. and you know what i mean. getting a text back from someone that you're interested in. the anticipation. i don't have that. and you know what? i feel so relieved. i've experienced the least amount of disappointment during the past month or more than i have in a long time.

i guess what i mean to say is that i am feeling appreciative right now of the people that i can really call my friends. if you've had to listen or watch me cry, put up with me talking in circles about a guy, given me advice that i didn't follow, given me alcoholic beverages to help me forget, or was just plan there for me. i love you all for it. and just so you know, i'm here for you too.

I am very grateful for Andy being a good cook. Tonight we are having
collard greens, mac and cheeze, bbq'd tofu and green tea shakes. The
movie I picked for tonight was Somers Town. The same guy who directed
This is England directed this as well. :)

am i not yours?

i think i feel like a big reason i can't listen to brand new a lot or too intensely is that i don't take it very seriously. not saying one has to take something super seriously in order to like it. but it's just not my cup of tea. or barely makes it beyond the "like" zone.

i have to work on sleeping earlier. long day tomorrow with studying and homework. finals next week. san francisco is out the door. i'm bummed about that, but it may be for the better. i need to rape these finals. speaking of rape, by the way... how scary is it parking next to some huge ass van with blacked out windows? anyway, i always get a little bit creeped out when i park next to rape vans. and especially if i have to walk back to my car at night or something. fuck rape vans.

it rained all day, and it was nice. i liked waking up to the pitter-patter sound of the water. the skies were grey and it stayed that way until around 2pm-ish. i wish we could have two weeks straight of that. i felt really productive getting envelopes, tea and going to the post office to send a package. i actually like being in the post office, funnily enough. i used to hate it.

i went over to the wirth household and had some tea, cookies and conversation with andy's mom. it was nice.

unexpected phone call, spur of the moment hang out. good night. i wonder if i'll be bumping that hall and oates song tomorrow morning now.. err, i mean, in about 3 hours.

well, i'm back.

i've all but stopped playing words with friends. i think i had too much of it. it's like when you eat the same food everyday for two weeks in a row, you kind of just want to take a really long break? that's what it is. i'm sitting in peet's right now just perusing the interwebs. some things i need to do real soon: bring in the rest of my paperwork to regal tomorrow, put my laundry away, not forget about my counseling appt at 930am tomorrow, start studying for my astronomy final AND my geology final. my feet are freezing. it's time to get serious for the next two weeks. it may just be 720, but i am really exhausted right now. probably from my lack of sleep this morning/last night. damn lord of the rings for playing all three back to back this morning. robbing me of my sleep. i couldn't say no. i don't know if there's a movie that moves me to tears as often in one sitting as the return of the king. here are some moments in the film that i can recall that get me really emotional:
(in no particular order)
-merry and pippin get separated because pippin was curious and took the palantir from gandalf
-merry and pippin reunite when the rohirrim come to the battle of minas tirith and pippin finds merry on the ground after he stabbed the witch-king
-eowyn is fighting to protect king theoden after the witch-king attacks him and later pulls off her helmet to reveal she is a woman.. and immediately afterwards, when king theoden dies
[i'll continue adding more as i remember]
-when aragorn finally sees arwen at the very end behind that banner she's holding, and they presumably wed
-when frodo leaves for the undying lands, saying that his wound had never healed and that the shire wasn't saved for him

i know the . is near when little things like a text back from someone two days later is a shock. just got home from seeing me and orson welles, and i thought it was really good. the guy that played orson did a really great job, he owned every scene he was in. and, zac efron truly is the ladies' choice. elia kazan's great granddaughter was in the movie as well. i thought that was interesting. she played an aspiring writer, a bit on the nerdy side, but she does end up with zac in the end. claire danes played a really good hoebag too. it was definitely worth watching. i can appreciate the 30's, but i don't love it. i love jason sudeikis, though.

also, i think lady gaga is sort of frightening.

<3

before i forget my dream from last night, i had a dream i was trekking up a trail that was in serrano intermediate with the objective of semi-rescuing christina from class or something. i figured i could just walk on the campus but came in the disguise of my old pe uniform. so i'm coming up there with one other person i think, and i go get christina and we make to leave, but we stop in the bathroom in the office or something. for some reason, all three of us got sick and were throwing up in the bathroom and then some evil looking teacher woman comes in and calls us to her office. she tells us that she is enslaving us for two days as her aides as punishment. i tell her christina has finals and shit and that i can't help her because i don't know how to speak spanish. i even remember bringing up that i had only taken french. haha. funny dream.

ass grabbin' and shit.

i made it to the blue laguna for nakita's birthday party tonight, it was pretty fun. i got the green light from peoples around 945 that there was no bouncer, and made it around 1030ish. a lot of people turned up tonight, with the exception of neal and a couple others i would have liked to see. at first it felt a little bit weird, because i think hayes and i were the only ex-apple employees that were there. everyone else was either a current employee, or a significant other of an employee. we still had a good time though. nakita looked super pretty tonight, btw! pictures will be up soon, i think. joe and her friend kevin took a whole bunch. i also felt a bit weird because the ratio of girls to boys was WAY off. and the ratio of available girls to available boys were off even further. it was a bit like being in a snake pit.

arthur, berto, daniel lee and i left at the same time. i drove them to their cars and drove myself home. funny thing was, i was REALLY sketched out about driving home. yeah, it was only 10 minutes away from where i live but i was scared i was going to get pulled over. this is going to sound bad, but i've been WAY more drunk before and driven home from as far as long beach, and i was not scared of getting pulled over. maybe i'm 'growing up'... haha. i'm going to bed and i reek of cigarettes. sadface. the battery of my computer is keeping my hands warm right now. it's 46 or lower out right now, which is freezing by my standards.

holiday photos tomorrow, possibly followed by a movie at the hayes household.. or karaoke at plush.

I've just decided that pointy looking flats are not cute.

put your hands on your handsome face.

while waiting for my brother to pick andy and i up from the spectrum last night, we talked about being mean. he said something along the lines of, "to be mean is like having a gun, you just have to pick and choose when you use it." i know, i know. no, i don't have a gun. but you know what he means. it does seem a bit morbid, the way he put that. last night after i got out of my geology class, i went off on the kid who sits next to me for giving my outlet away to the guy who sits next to him. why? because we agreed that we would share it since we sat there first and i guess, "claimed" them. but when the other guy pulled out his computer and gave the guy who sat next to me his plug, he plugged it in for him. was i pissed? of course. albeit something so little, it was the principle of the matter. ever called shotgun but then someone ran up to the passenger seat and stole it, even when you called it first? that is exactly what happened. then, other guy says to me, "i'm sure your battery will last." as if that was supposed to make me feel better about him taking that outlet from me. i kept my cool and didn't call him a fucking retard out loud, even though i really wanted to. i would liked to have said it to the kid who sat next to me who did that, but i just decided to give him the cold shoulder for most of the class. this kid is the kind of person who speaks at unnecessary times in class, and most of the things he says aren't really relevant to whatever it is we are learning about. yes, that guy. i wonder sometimes if he is mildly retarded. anyway, after class he's blabbering on about how far away his car is parked (and he's a much heavier guy) and i almost want to tell him that he may need the walk. anyway, i just kind of snapped at him and said, "next time i call an outlet, and you hear me, YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING GIVE IT TO THE KID NEXT TO YOU, OK?" i feel better at this point. he says, "ok, i will try harder next time." looking back on it, do i feel bad for snapping? not particularly.

everyone's got good and bad parts to them. that's just how we are built. i feel as if i've been playing nice for too long, and i am okay with being a jerk every once in awhile (if it's deserved). it's healthy.

the life and times.

i had the weirdest dream last night. i had a dream it was my birthday and a lot of people turned up. it was really random, but i recall only girls being there. we were at some bar or something. it may have been more enjoyable than my actual 20th birthday dinner. i think linda and i went to a nada surf show at the knitting factory, except that it was in the shopping center where christina and i get our nails done. i think ransley might have made a cameo. kristina ho did too. weird dream.

i have yet to eat today, i'm about to make some pasta. i'm going to regal to grab the reference sheets, watch an education at 650 and meet sean at chaya at 9ish. i feel like i am forgetting something. i keep forgetting what my plans are for tomorrow other than possibly going to the getty with andy, and then nakita's birthday if i can get in. i might've made other plans too, but i can't recall it right now..

this will be hanging, framed, in my room by next week.

site of the day.

hey! you're part of it.

just got home from seeing the fantastic mr. fox. good movie and good soundtrack. i'm looking for it online right now but no luck. also, i smell like coffee, probably because i was in peet's for most of the day. good news though, the fight against procrastination is still going strong. in my 6 hours at peet's today, i did see someone i haven't seen in over 2 years. i'm pretty sure he recognized me too, but i made sure to not make eye contact. it's awkward sometimes when you run into people you used to know, but have nothing real to say to them. i hate the awkward 'how have you been? what are you up to now?' conversation that follows because it's usually disappointing and well, awkward. my bedsheets will smell of coffee after i get up tomorrow, guaranteed.



so, it's been awhile since the last list and since i feel that lists are healthy, i'm going to make one now. this is for the span of the month of december.

TOMORROW:
-hang out with stephanie tomorrow, i didn't put it in my calendar so i might forget.
-d. lee wants to go to the kings/ducks game tomorrow night, i might not go to class (since i have yet to miss any classes yet) and go with. or we might just hang out in the day time.

THIS WEEK:
-finish franny and zooey. i'm halfway through with it already.
-the getty on thursday with andy, possibly. but we'd have to be back early because...
-nakita's birthday at the blue laguna. aaron is djing. starts at 10.
-finish norwegian wood, tortilla flat and burning fight. LAGGING, fo real. after that, i need to make use of my library card. first on the list: absolute beginners by colin macinnes.
-holiday photo with the girls and possibly watching 'what would jesus buy?' at the hayes household afterwards.
-geo field trip to dana point harbor on saturday at 9am.

THIS MONTH:
-get a new laptop. allie said she'd be able to hook it up with her discount, so I can get a 15 inch mbp for a pretty good price.
-get a haircut before the end of the month. this 'do will never be complete if i don't get a trim. split ends travel up the strand.
-i hate the word road trip. so maybe i'll say trip involving a car. if andy does get his license in a week or so he's probably going to get a car right after, and he says it'll most likely be a prius. we have a rough outline of this trip.
-watch up in the air (anna kendrick and george clooney), an education (one more time), the fantastic mr. fox (one more time), coco before chanel (because i love audrey tatou), broken embraces (because it's pedro almodovar), the young victoria (emily blunt) and nine (a musical, duh).
-rearranging my netflix queue as i type. moving all miyazaki to the top and probably following up with audrey hepburn classics. we'll see how that goes.

IN THE NEARBY FUTURE?
-gym. i have the time now, so i should make good use of it.
-working looks like a possibility back in the box office at regal. at least they are super flexible on hours and stuff. it won't be trouble getting days off or just working on weekends and hanging out on weekdays. no biggie.
-learning how to swim. if someone's got a heated pool and is willing to teach, i think i may be ready to learn.




“You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phoney stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they're mean bastards at heart.”