you've seen me at my worst. i don't think it's something you'll ever forgive me for, but you are still here. and i am so grateful for that. i think we both know that i've made enough mistakes to last me for years. i don't feel like you believe my heart or body to be much worth, because of how 'generous' i've been. that's okay. only time can really do anything for either of us now. maybe this time next year, you will have lost your innocence, possibly be dating someone (and not that pseudo-dating stuff) and maybe be in a serious relationship. do i know that? no. but you don't know either, it's the future. hopefully, this same time next year, i'll be semesters away from transferring to a 4 year myself and continue what i'm doing now. hopefully, i'll have a stable enough school schedule to handle having a part time job. and if my predicted future for you does come true, i may or may not be heartbroken because it wasn't me. but i'd be happy for you because at least i'd know that you finally found someone that you wanted. i don't want to tell you i'm sorry for who i was before i met you, because i'm not. things happened to me, and they made me the same girl you know now. i guess i always hoped our story would play out similar to 'lucky charm'. but somehow i don't think you'll ever change your mind. i don't think i will either.

until next year,
me