christina et sam

options.

But it was only in my head
because no one ever says
what they really mean to say
when there's so much at stake

So I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me
and I mostly believed her and she mostly believed me

(>*_*)>

i went to bed with chapped lips and i woke up with still chapped lips. my nap ended up being too long tonight. for some reason i wanted to take a nap at 10pm instead of a shower and i slept through my arranged talking time with z. big oops. i just can't get back to bed now. i may or may not make some food to eat.

i think d. lee and i may go to the getty later today, hang out and stuff. the weather may be quite perfect for it actually. i have a couple assignments for geology that won't be due until next week i believe? so tomorrow may be a good day to relax. i need stefan's dad's help on my homework. for some reason the second 8 weeks of french is actually pretty hard.

scott confirmed halloween in gv this weekend. i can't wait for this week to be over. i need to get out of the area for a little bit. i feel like i'm suffocating here. bracing myself for what seems to look like an end.

i'm beat, i'm torn, shattered and tossed and worn.

jen's birthday ended up being really fun. i had the weirdest dream that i was walking up a really steep hill and when i got far enough, i'd roll back down the hill as if someone pulled the ground up like a rug and dusted the dust off it. so strange. in my dream, andrew got a tattoo too. i remember putting saran wrap around his arm for some reason and giving him something to put on it. and chairs were nailed to the floor. gravity didn't seem to be a real factor in this dream.

nicole told me she dreamt we were hanging out with dinosaurs. good dreams all around!

why do your eyes get swollen after crying?

Two basic reasons.

When we cry, the fluid from the tears gets absorbed back into the tissue around our eyes (osmosis). This happens to a greater extent if the tears are because of something emotional. Emotional tears are less salty than our usual tears. The natural salt in the fluid already around our eyes basically 'attracts' the extra water into the tissue around the eyes.

In addition to all that...we get an adrenaline rush when we experience strong emotions, like sadness or anger or anything else that can make somebody cry. The adrenaline itself causes blood rush to the skin -- it literally increases swelling. That's why you feel hot when you're angry, and flushed when distraught. All of your muscles, including the muscles around your eyes, are literally filling up with extra blood. This makes the eyes look swollen, too.

The fastest way to get puffy eyes to un-swell is generally said to apply something cold; a cold ice pack, cold tea bags, cold cucumbers -- whatever you have handy.

cry, sleep, wake up, cry some more.

do you ever have one of those moments where you wish you could move
away and start over not knowing anyone? i'm having one of those
moments right now. i think it's called wanting to run away from your
problems. i don't think it's possible for me to, but I wish so badly
to be able to. i really fucked shit up tonight. my head is a mess
right now, i'm crying, things aren't looking good for dear old helen.
not at all.